I was looking through the internet news outlets and was thinking that there was a lot less political news (Obama’s old Neon notwithstanding). I was vaguely sad when I finished reading through the political sections so quickly, when prior to the election I could cheerfully have reams of articles and commentary to read through. I realized that I was a political junkie. Trusty Hubby will probably roll his eyes and say ”Well, duh, I could have told you that 17 years ago when you went to that Clinton rally at Ohio State.”
So anyway, this is for all of us political junkies.
You know you’re a political junkie when….
1. You’re sad after the election not because your candidate wasn’t elected, but because the news coverage of politics has dropped dramatically. In fact,, some of us may be sad in spite of our candidate getting elected.
2. You can name not only the Senators and Congressperson for your district, but also the Speaker of the House, Senate Majority leader, all Cabinet staff, the 9 Supreme Court justices, and the Joint Chiefs of staff, along with the governors for all 50 states and the mayors of the top 10 largest cities. You know not only their political affiliations but also their shoe sizes and favorite desserts.
3. You know that a minority whip is not some kind of kinky riding crop.
4. You know that ‘cloture’ is not a medical term, nor does it refer to curdled sour cream.
5. You know the rule for Presidents elected in years ending in zero, and you know the exceptions to the rule.
6. You prefer going to political rallies over any movie or sporting event.
7. You are also devastated that the really good ones won’t be back for a good two years or so.
8. You’re a registrar and/or work at the polls every election.
9. And you do it for free.
10. You’ve voted at every election you could once you reached legal age, even if it was just for the city dog-catcher and county horticulturalist.
11. You’ve spoken with your local alderman, county supervisor, state representative, state senator, and have visited Washington in the hopes of meeting with you Congressperson and Senators.
12. And you have done this at least twice.
13. And you haven’t done it because it’s part of your job.
14. You can name every President.
15. And Vice-President.
16. And do it backwards.
17. You wonder why more people don’t email their representatives, because you do so at least weekly (you may be a die-hard, but you don’t want to look like a stalker by contacting them daily).
18. The Secret Service recognizes your email address and IP anyway.
19. You listen to Rush Limbaugh because a. you actually agree with his conservatism and live for his daily words of wisdom, or b. can’t stand the guy but want to be completely informed of The Enemy’s Tactics.
20. You have a love/hate relationship with Bill O’Reilly for the same reason.
21. You know who Charles Krauthammer writes for.
22. You know the odds on if/when Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani will run for President.
23. You know the shade of the lipstick on the mythical pig.
24. You studied political science in college.
25. Then went for your master’s.
26. And because you’re a complete masochist, went on for a PhD.
27. You know that Al Gore did not invent the internet.
28. You feel the need to go find some more political news right now….