Online friendships are great things, not the least of which is their complete fun and geekiness. Where else but online can you make friends worldwide without ever leaving your computer? It’s like the ultimate in penpals without the postage, unless you collect stamps, in which case it doesn’t work quite as well. The only bad thing is dealing with all the different time zones when you’re IMing someone.
Me: I have to get to bed. It’s getting late.
Trusty Nemesis Emperor Devon: What? It’s only 10:30!
Me: Dude, it’s 12:30 am by me–I’m in Central. I have to get up in 7 hours to get into my geeky mini-van and drive the kids to swimming class.
Trusty Friend Jasra: I don’t want to hear any complaints. It’s 5:30 am here and I’ve been up all night IMing you. Do you know how much it sucks being 5 or 7 hours ahead of you all?
Emperor Devon: Bah! You all can sleep late–it’s Saturday!
Me: Some of us get our lazy bones out of bed before noon, you ornery cuss!
Now, when I signed up for Lucasforums, I was interested in learning about the Knights of the Old Republic computer games. I thought if I met some decent people there, that would be a plus. I didn’t realize how many friends I’d make who are truly as geeky as I am, and I definitely never anticipated acquiring a Nemesis, friendly or otherwise.
Emperor Devon was a friend prior to becoming a Nemesis. He joined quite awhile before me, and so I’d gotten to know him through various posts and replies, and he kindly helps out with editing my fanfic, The Adventures of Jolee Bindo. He’s also an ornery cuss at times, besides being a lot of fun, and I take great delight in making sure he doesn’t get a little too full of himself, since that is one of my duties as a Geeky Forum Mom. He, in turn, takes great delight in pointing out that it took me forever to learn how to recolor those stupid red shoes that Exile wears at the very beginning of the Kotor: TSL game. He is quick to point out that it took him a whole two minutes to accomplish the same. I retorted that not all of us have $650 to spend on Photoshop for the sole purpose of changing pixel colors in a game. I have to spend my hard-earned dollars for things like, oh, feeding the family, paying the mortgage, making sure the electric bills get paid, that kind of stuff.
Anyway, we became friendly Nemeses when Emperor Devon decided one day to have a little fun in the “Male or Female?” thread. He declared he was now “Empress Devon.” “She” even made up a female avatar (Lumiya), because as we all know, having a female avatar on the internet automatically changes your gender and makes you female. Apparently it’s some Man Law ™ that males are not allowed to upload female avatars. I should note that Woman Law ™ does not specify this, as we are savvy enough to realize that yes, people actually do lie on the ‘net.
Well, having changed thousands of diapers, I know crap when I smell it, and the patented Jae Crap Detector red-lined. This called for action. I started a forum search to find any historical evidence that he–rather, she–had actually posted anything that indicated that ‘she’ was actually still a ‘he’. I would like to note that this is one of the few times in life where the research skills I learned from my history major actually paid off. So, for those of you that are history, philosophy, or Greco-Latin majors, or worse, grad students, take heart. The enormous sums of money and time you’ve spent on your degree will actually get justified at least once in life.
It took me exactly 2 hours and 30 minutes to find the evidence showing ‘she’ was really still a ‘he’ and post said evidence in the thread for all the world to see. Well, truthfully, it took less time than that, since I had to cook and eat dinner with the family. I think it took me a whole 5 minutes or so to find a good post. Actually, I did it to protect ‘her’ from getting hit on by the other forum males, because ‘she’ was inexperienced in the matters of handling horny male teens, ‘her’ previous experience as a horny male teen notwithstanding. It was my duty!
He, naturally, was suitably and amusingly annoyed that I’d busted him so quickly. When he asked rhetorically about what to do with his Lumiya “Dark Lady of the Sith” avatar, I PMd him and said something about probably deserving the title after calling his bluff. I think I joked about being his nemesis. He cheerfully sent me the avatar and I uploaded it, changing my title to “Emperor Devon’s Nemesis”. It was not long before he changed his title to “Jae Onasi’s Nemesis.” This prompted Trusty Friend Char Ell to comment “You guys are too funny–‘I’m your Nemesis!’ ‘No, I’m _your_ Nemesis!'” I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at that post.
So, we have been Nemeses ever since, even going so far as to make it our greeting to each other when both of us show up on IM.
Trusty Nemesis Emperor Devon: Nemesis!
And I only have one more thing to say in this post to my Nemesis: