It’s a Required Mom Thing. All moms are required to discuss baby information and birthing experiences with each other. Put two of us moms together, and we will without fail end up discussing a. how horrible it really was to give birth, b. how jealous we are of those women who say they just breezed through a two hour mild labor and pushed the baby out in one big grunt, c. the baby’s poop consistency at any given time and/or how old the kids were when potty-training finally, Praise the Lord, happened. It’s like it’s instinct or something.
Me: Man, I’m glad my kids are potty trained.
Other Mom: How old where they?
Me: Three for each. You?
Other Mom: 29 months.
Me: You’re so lucky!
Other Mom: Well, not so lucky–I had really long labors with each one.
Me: Trust me, it couldn’t be worse than my first. 36 hours, got to 10 cm and pushing, and I still ended up having a c-section. It’s like running a marathon, getting 3 inches from the finish line, and having them yank you out of the race. Granted, it’s for a good reason, but still, it sucks.
Other Mom: Wow. That is a bad labor. Mine was only 35.
Other Mom: Absolutely. The only breathing a woman has to learn for labor is ‘epidural’.
Me: You got that right. We don’t get Hero Points for being in pain.
Other Mom: What do you think of the new baby food packaging?
Me: They got rid of all the cute glass jars, but at least plastic doesn’t break in the diaper bag. Which, happily for me, I never have to carry again.
Other Mom: Watch out–saying ‘I’ll never have to carry the diaper bag again’ is a surefire way to end up pregnant again.
Me (ducking my head and looking around to make sure no one else heard): Oh, you’re right. Better not say that!
Most of the time, we moms will get together in mom-friendly settings like playgroups, church functions, meeting in the grocery stores, that kind of thing. We’ll stop the shopping cart and talk to other moms for 45 minutes (while the ice cream melts) about the merits of breastfeeding. Playgroups and church functions are lovely excuses for us to talk about who potty trained, who’s pregnant again, who had the easiest and hardest labor, who’s weaning, and a host of other mommy things that we could never talk to others about, such as men. Men just don’t get some of these things, not having the ability to a. give birth and b. breastfeed.
We Geeky Moms, however, have a new outlet for our Geeky Mom-ness. The internet. Where else can we send emails to have these kinds of conversations? Blog about the latest potty training techniques or IM a group of mothers about our kids going to kindergarten? Check out websites on different birthing options? It’s hard to contain myself with all the Geek options available to me. I just login and go, and it’s instant electronic mother-bonding, and I don’t even have to get out of my PJs to take the kids to a playgroup.